Basking in the Candlelight

Rating: PG
Pairing: Logan/Jean
POV: Jean
Archive: Yes, please let me know though - that's all I ask.
Date Started/Completed: September 2003
Disclaimer: They aren't mine...just the usual disclaimer.
Writer’s Notes: Part Three of the Basking series. Thanks to MB for the quick beta when I sprang it on her. Comments/Feedback are appreciated and welcome to RedFenix.

I snickered softly to myself as Logan's snoring reached a roof raising pitch. I thought briefly about waking him up to halt the sawing noise, however, Logan didn't sleep well most nights. For once he seemed to be getting the rest that he deserved.

I trailed my fingers along his chest and tucked my body closer into his, hoping I could slide into sleep as well. My mind seemed to have other ideas though and seemed to wander aimlessly around things I just kept pushing aside.

It always seemed to be a never-ending battle between my head and my heart. I knew what I wanted; I just never seemed to be able to vocalize it. It was something I was going to have to face up too -- and soon.

I sighed and shifted away from him, taking care not to wake him as I rose. I pushed myself out of the bed and crossed to the single window in the room. The night was foggy, the season starting its shift from summer to autumn.

Large piles of leaves stood at the base of an ancient oak and I smiled as I remembered Annie and I annihilating those careful piles of leaves my father had made. A heavy weight settled on my chest and I grew saddened as I thought about Annie again. My best friend that I had watched die right before my eyes.

The rustle of sheets caught my attention and I turned to see Logan sit up in bed, his eyes heavy with sleep. He rubbed at his eyes and smiled.

"Hey sexy." His voice was rough and thick.

"Hey yourself." I smiled at the silence in the room. "I thought for a while there you were trying to have a contest with yourself."

His puzzled expression made me laugh out loud. "You were snoring."

Scowling, he shifted so his back rested against the headboard. "I do not snore." His eyes closed letting me know the topic wasn't open for discussion but a small smile hinted briefly on his lips. Despite his denial, he knew better. "Didn't wake you, did I?"

Waving my hand in dismissal, I turned back to gaze out the window, my mind still heavy with death. "Read to me."

I could feel Logan's eye boring into my back, wanting to know what was wrong. He sighed heavily at my silence. I heard the distinct sound of a match strike and the room was lit with a soft glow. Turning to face him once again I saw he had lit a tall pillar candle on the night stand.

The candlelight illuminated him in a soft glow, softening up the hard lines of his face. It played over his chest, casting a gold hue to the hair that spread over his torso. The smell of sandalwood finally reached me and I inhaled deeply, letting the scent wash over me, chasing away the demons that haunted me almost nightly.

Eyeing me speculatively, he reached for the leather-bound volume also on his night stand. "Any preference?"

I shook my head and made my way back over to the bed, settling down against him before covering up with the sheet again.

"You only want me to read to you when something's bothering you, what is it?"

At my silence, his knees slid up, resting the book against his legs, using them as a backboard for support. He lifted his left arm up and around my shoulders, cradling me to him. His lips brushed against my forehead. "What is it Jean?"

He sighed when I remained silent. With one hand he flipped open to the table of contents, wordlessly selected a chapter and flipped to the page.

He kept his voice hushed as he read from the book, the rising and falling of his chest as he spoke soothing me. Calming my nerves. Smoothing over the rough edges and letting my mind relax finally.

I could feel sleep begin to take its hold on me, but I wasn't ready for it just yet. I stopped Logan mid-sentence when I pressed my lips to his.

Despite my silence, he had done as I asked, done what he could for a mind that was in chaos. "Thank you." I whispered as I heard the book slide to the floor, forgotten.

His weight settled comfortably down over my body when he shifted our positions, skin pressing against skin. "You would have done the same for me Jean. Done what you could to help me despite not understanding what was wrong." His lips brushed over mine this time. "You do it every night without even realizing it, there's no need for thanks."

My eyes grew hot as I felt them fill with tears. I fought against them, desperate to not break down, not now.

"Let go." His whispered voice echoed in my head and I could no longer hold it in. Wrapping my arms around him, I felt all the tension slip from me in a flood of tears. It bubbled to the surface and slid over the edge, releasing me of its burden.

It was a cleansing of my soul.

[end]