TITLE: Queen

AUTHOR: BlackDiamond

RATING: PG, PG-13 maybe?

'SHIP: Umm, S/J/L sorta, but it's all falling apart.

SERIES: The Game

SUMMARY: Can she pick up the pieces alone when she's always had someone else to catch her?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: BD had written a story that is not full of either swearing or sex. What's the world coming to? Jeez. This one goes out to Najde Lee. Sorry this is a day late.

DISCLAIMER: It's getting harder and harder to say 'I don't own anything and I'm only saying this 'cuz I'm scared you'll sue me' in an original way. The song in this one is 'Honsetly OK' by Dido. Listen to that song while you read this to get the total feel for this. That song makes me want to weep with it's simple beauty. It's not mine either.

FEEDBACK: I have fresh made cupcakes for anyone with feedback. (Yes, I'm being forced to bribe you people. What does that tell you?)

ARCHIVING: Like I said, archive whore. Take it if you want it.

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Queen

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i just want to feel safe in my own skin

i just want to be happy again

i just want to feel deep in my own world

but i'm so lonely i don't even want to be with myself anymore

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Rogue turned to Bobby beside her after noticing that Mr. Summers was ten minutes late. Mr. Summers was never ten seconds late. Something weird was going on. "Hey Boby, where d'ya think Mr. Summers is?"

Bobby just shrugged his shoulders. He was about to give a theory when the doors at the back of the room opened and shut. Every student turned around, curious as to why their 'perfect' teacher was so late. What they saw was rather shocking.

Scott wore the same clothes he had had on the day before, which were rumpled and wrinkled to no end, his hair hadn't been brushed and the tell-tale bags of sleeplessness could be seen even beneath the glasses he wore at all times.

Wide eyes followed him as he walked to his desk at the front. Unlike usual he wasn't carrying a lesson plan for the days english class. When he reached his desk he didn't even bother pulling out the chair before saying the strangest words any of them had ever heard come out of his mouth. "No class today. No homework." And then, leaving as he entered, Scott shuffled down the middle aisle in the desks and walked out. He seemed oblivious to the heads turning simultaneously to follow him.

Jubilee and Bobby were first to stand up and start cheering. The rest of the class soon followed suit, quickly leaving the room and running out into the halls. Rogue, however, did not share the rest of her classmates exhultation.

Something was wrong.

Rogue searched the entire school for Scott before giving up and deciding to find Logan. That search was just as fruitless. Figuring the only thing that would effect Scott like that, and put Logan out of sight, was Jean Grey, Rogue tried to find her.

After nearly half an hour Rogue finally found her. She was in the unused tower at the very top of the old mansion, sitting in the middle of the dust, crying. Rogue was shocked and then realised she shouldn't have been. Just because Rogue thought that nothing ever got to the woman didn't mean it was true.

"Does the fact that yah've locked yahrself up here cryin' have anythin' to do with the fact that Scott cancelled his classes and disappeared an' Logan just plain disappeared?" She didn't want to pry, but, well, Logan was her best friend.

Jean didn't even turn her head as she spoke. "Of course it does. I thought everyone knew the three of us were co-dependent."

Bitter sarcasm didn't suit Jean well and the sight sent chills down Rogue's spine. "What's goin' on? You can't stay up here forever and they can't stay hidden away wherever they are. You gotta tell someone."

Rogue sat down in the stillness that followed.

After a good long minute Jean spoke. "Scott's on the roof and Logan's down by the lake if you want to go and tell them that."

"Storm already tried. And I thought you might feel a little better if you got whatever this is off your chest. You've been shut off for weeks, walking around in a daze." Rogue stared hard at Jean's profile, watching as the silent tears fell harder.

And suddenly the woman began to speak, quietly at first, fearfully. By the time she had explained the situation she was sobbing, refusing the girls attempts at comfort.

Rogue was shocked. She had never thought that graceful, beautiful, intelligent Dr. Jean Grey would feel so . . . empty, that she would ever do something so extreme.

"Yah're gonna have to deal with it, ya know." Rogue kept her voice low, quiet.

Jean nodded but did not speak.

After a long silence the girl stood, knowing the woman would say no more.

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i'm lost in my own skin

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What I wouldn't give to go back and make it all go away.

How could I have done this to you? How could I have ever thought I could live without you? You're downstairs right now, but you might as well be around the world.

Remembering my feelings leading up to this I realise it wasn't you who wouldn't give love, it was me and my unwillingness to recieve it. You gave me everything you had and it still wasn't enough. You gave me more than everything and I ran away.

Logan couldn't help but give me everything. He doesn't know how to hold back.

I should know better than anyone else that neither do you.

Not emotionally.

You stand so tall, so strong, hiding the tumult behind ruby- quartz. Being linked to your mind, able to feel what you feel, see what you see, I should have seen that you were cracking.

I knew that what I was doing was hard on you, that it was breaking your heart. I should have known that your heart was taking everything else along with it.

What was I thinking?

I love you.

Fin