Preview of Inferno

DO NOT ARCHIVE.

Canto I

PER ME SI VA NE LA CITTÀ DOLENTE,
PER ME SI VA NE L'ETTERNO DOLORE,
PER ME SI VA TRA LA PERDUTA GENTE.

DINANZI A ME NON FUOR COSE CREATE
SE NON ETTERNE, E IO ETTERNO DURO.
LASCIATE OGNE SPERANZE, VOI CH'INTRATE.

(Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.

Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.

Before me nothing but eternal things
were made, and I endure eternally.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.)

Inscription on the Gate of Hell (from Canto III, pp. 20, 21)

"You're in love with Logan, aren't you?"

Jean froze and took a deep breath. "What?" she said, pretending that she hadn't heard.

"You heard me. You're in love with him."

She turned around and watched Scott cross his arms over his chest. "How can you accuse me of something like that, Scott?" she asked quietly.

"How could I not?" he retorted. "I've seen the way you look at him when you think I can't see you. You want him."

Jean felt hot tears well up in her eyes. "Don't you trust me, Scott? I love you. I'm going to marry you. This really hurts me."

If she could have seen his eyes, he most certainly would have been rolling them. "Don't break out the guilt trip crap on me, Jean. It won't work. I'm not stupid, or blind."

"I didn't accuse you of being either."

"Yes, but you're talking to me like I'm some kid. I'm not blind," he repeated. "You've never looked at me the way you look at him. How do you think that makes me feel?"

Jean was astounded. "Scott, I've..."

He put a hand up. "No. I don't want to hear this," he said, turning for the door.

"Scott, you can't just leave..."

He looked back at her. "Oh, I can't?"

She winced at the venom in his tone. "You can't walk out in the middle of a fight. We need to--"

He shook his head violently. "I don't think there's anything to walk out on."

"What do you mean by that?" Jean asked, feeling her heart stop.

He scowled and she wished with all of her might that she could see his eyes. If she could just look into his eyes, she would know what he was thinking, feeling. She would know if he was serious. She stepped toward him, raising her hands in surrender. "Can't we just talk this out, Scott?" she whispered.

A tear slipped out from under his visor and he angrily swiped it away. "Do you want to talk? All right, we'll talk. So, what should we tackle first?"

"Scott..."

"There isn't anymore passion between us. We don't have sex anymore. You're always down in the lab. Always. You get up before I do, and you go to bed long after me. Your body language changes whenever he walks into the room. You turn into a minx, batting your eyelashes and acting so aloof. And when he turns around, you practically start a fire, the way you look at him."

"Are you accusing me of cheating?"

He squared his jaw. "You catch on quickly, Dr. Grey."

Jean couldn't keep herself from crying any longer. "Scott, that's not true."

"You're never with me! How am I supposed to believe you?" he shouted. "I cannot be with someone who can't keep her eyes off of another man."

Her temper snapped. "And I cannot be with someone who won't trust me," she yanked the diamond solitaire off of her finger and threw it at him. "You can keep that. I don't need it anymore."

The P.A. system suddenly chirped, startling them. "Cyclops, Storm, Rogue, please report to my office immediately," Professor Xavier's curt voice broke through their argument. Those words were code, meaning that some important information had just come in.

"I have to go," Scott said brusquely. "I think you should find someplace else to sleep."

He turned on his heel and disappeared down the hall. Jean collapsed in an armchair, burying her face in her hands. *What the hell just happened?* she thought. She watched her life fall apart from behind her closed eyelids.

A dilapidated warehouse rose up from the holographic projector. Part of the roof had fallen in and there seemed to be debris scattered all around the site. Scott rubbed his temples, irritated, and glared at the map. The professor was saying something...

"Scott, are you listening?"

He looked up at Professor Xavier, still too angry to be sheepish. "I'm sorry. My mind must be wandering," he said shortly.

Xavier raised an eyebrow, but went back to the briefing. "I've received a tip that Magneto is using this warehouse for storage. Of what, I don't know. I suspect it might be a face for a new plan of his. I think it's worth investigating," he said.

"Where is the warehouse?" Storm asked.

"Featherstone. A few counties away. The warehouse is on the outskirts of town. I want the three of you to go and investigate. Try not to draw attention to yourself," Xavier looked pointedly at them, "I don't want Magneto to know that we've found this place. Just go in, look around a bit, and get out. Understood?"

They all nodded and started for the door. "Scott."

Scott turned back to the professor. "I need to speak to you for a moment," Xavier said. "Ororo, Rogue, go ahead."

The two women nodded and left the briefing room. Scott leaned against a table, staring at the floor. He could feel Professor Xavier staring at him, worrying at his mind, trying to find what was bothering him.

"You and Jean argued."

Scott snorted. "You know, sometimes I hate it when you do that," he said.

Xavier smiled. "Would you like to tell me what happened?"

Scott frowned suddenly. "Not really, but I guess I have to."

Xavier leaned back in his wheelchair and steepled his hands, waiting for Scott to begin. "I... I think she's having an affair," Scott said quietly.

Xavier looked surprised. "What makes you think that?"

Scott gave an exasperated sigh. "Come on, Professor. Don't tell me that you can't see it."

"See what?"

Scott slammed his fist into the table. The professor didn't move. "Logan. She wants him. I think she's in love with him."

Professor Xavier nodded slowly, as if digesting the words. "Do you really think that Jean would be unfaithful to you, Scott? Even if she was in love with someone else?"

Scott thought for a moment. He and Jean had been engaged for five years, had known each other for sixteen. She had never lied to him, never misled him in any way. But he still couldn't shake the feeling that she had fallen out of love with him. The thought hurt him. It made his chest ache, as if his heart was splitting in two. He knew it, deep in his soul, that she didn't love him anymore, at least not the way she used to. Logically, he knew that all things had to end. Some ended sooner than others. He just didn't want to accept that she didn't want him anymore.

He reached into his pocket and took out the diamond ring, tossing it to the professor. "I told her to leave," he said quietly.

Xavier's brow drew together and he held the little band of gold tightly in his hands. "I'm sorry, Scott."

Scott nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I think that I just want her to be happy. She has to decide who will make her happy."

Xavier nodded. "That's a wise decision, Scott. Ororo and Rogue are waiting for you in the hangar. I'll hold on to this," he held the ring up, "for you."

Canto II

  La bufera infernal, che mai non resta,
mena li spirti con la sua rapina;
voltando e percotendo li molesta....

  Intesi ch'a così fatto tormento
enno dannati i paccator carnali,
che la ragion sommettono al talento.

( The hellish hurricane, which never rests,
drives on the spirits with its violence:
wheeling and pounding, it harasses them....

  I learned that those who undergo this torment
are damned because they sinned within the flesh,
subjecting reason to the rule of lust.)

(from Canto V; pp. 42, 43)

Jean wandered slowly through the woods surrounding the mansion, staring blankly ahead. Her left hand felt too light, felt wrong with her engagement ring missing. She had worn it for the last five years of her life. Was it really gone? Was what they had really gone?

She sat down numbly on a fallen tree, resting her head in her hands. Scott's words kept replaying in her head in a nightmarish loop.

/You're in love with him./

'No, I'm...'

/You want him./

'Do I?'

/I don't think there's anything to walk out on./

'But what about...'

/I cannot be with someone who can't keep her eyes off of another man./

'I...'

"I can't, can I?" she said aloud. "I can't keep my eyes off of Logan. I can't get him out of my mind. I..."

Jean couldn't bring herself to say it aloud, but the words still echoed in her mind. 'I love him.' The revelation stunned her. She knew how Logan felt about her, but she'd always told herself that the warmth that grew inside of her when he would look her way was just friendship. She cared about him platonically. But, deep inside, she had always known that she'd fallen in love with him. She fell in love with him the moment she'd seen him, lying broken and bleeding atop the Statue of Liberty. She knew then that if he died, her heart would die, too. Her love just grew stronger every day that he lay there unconscious in her lab.

Tears began to slide down her cheeks and she swiped angrily at them. She hated crying. Jean Grey was not a weak woman. She'd been through more in her thirty-two years than most people went through in their entire lives. She had seen and done things that would have made a typical woman go mad. She would not cry...

It was no use. Her body wracked itself with sobs. She was faced with losing everything that she'd come to rely on, and she suddenly knew that she couldn't handle it. She wanted to marry Scott, and she loved him... but what kind of love was it? He was right when he'd said that the passion was gone between them. She hadn't felt that fire of lust when she looked at Scott in a long time.

But what did that mean? Her love with Scott was a comfortable love, something that she knew would be there... that she took for granted would be there. She missed the fire between them, but the fire she felt when she looked at Logan must have made up for it. She should have realized that sooner. She should have known what was going on inside of her. But what could she do? She couldn't love both men at the same time. Her conscience wouldn't allow her to marry Scott and still want Logan so badly. She was in a catch-22. No one would come out of this happy. If she married Scott, Logan would be heart-broken, she'd have to see him every day and fight her desire for him, Scott would know that she still wanted Logan. If she left Scott and went to Logan, she and Logan would have to live with the guilt, and Scott would be devastated. If she left Scott and didn't go to Logan, none of them would be happy. Kobayashi maru. No solution.

"What're ya doin' out here in the rain, Red?"

Logan's voice scared a good five years life out of Jean. She jumped up off of the log and wiped her face. It was raining; she was soaked to the skin, but she hadn't even noticed. Logan peered at her, seeming to see right through the mask of calm that she wore. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she said quietly.

He gave her a look that said he didn't believe a word she said, but he shrugged. "You should get inside, Jeannie," he told her. "Come on, I'll walk ya back."

God, she couldn't be alone with him right now! She was confused enough; she didn't need the constant ache that he caused in her body. "No, I'll be fine," she replied a little too quickly.

Now he knew something was wrong. "Come on, Jean," he said, taking her arm and pulling her toward the mansion. "I don't want ya to catch your death out here."

"Logan..." she protested, "I need some time alone."

"All right, then ya can have some time alone when you're dry and indoors."

'Dammit!' she cursed to herself. 'Why can't he understand that I need to be away from him?'

Jean could feel his concern bleeding over, but she quickly shut out all of his thoughts and emotions. It would be easier if she couldn't feel his mind at all.

Rain drops pelted her, stinging her bare skin, but she was past the point of caring. Logan must have sensed this, for he gently touched her shoulder. "Jean, do you wanna tell me what's wrong?" he asked quietly.

God damn her tongue! She wanted to tell him so badly, wanted someone to talk the situation out with. Logan was one of her closest friends... but she couldn't talk to him about this!

*Jean, can you please meet me in my office?*

Professor Xavier's mental voice came to her, and she nearly cried with relief. There was not a better excuse to get away from Logan than this one. "The professor wants to talk to me, Logan," she said quickly. "I have to go."

She ducked into the mansion, leaving Logan standing in the rain.

Canto III

  "Amor, ch'a nullo amato amar perdona,
mi prese del costui piacer sì forte,
che, come vedi, ancor non m'abbandona.
  Amor condusse noi ad una morte.
Caina attende chi a vita ci spense."

( "Love, that releases no beloved from loveing,
took hold of me so strongly through his beauty
that, as you see, it has not left me yet.
  Love led the two of us unto one death.
Caïna waits for him who took our life."

Francesca's lament (from Canto V; pp. 44, 45)

Jean slipped out of her wet shoes and padded down the hall. Some of the students looked at her oddly as she walked by, but she didn't care if she looked like a drowned rat. She came to Professor Xavier's office much sooner than she'd expected; she must have been completely lost in her thoughts. She opened the door without knocking and stepped inside.

Professor Xavier and Jubilee both looked up at her as she walked in, and they both gaped. "Oh my god, Jean, are you all right?" Jubilee asked. "You look like you fell in the lake."

"I'm fine," Jean replied coolly, instantly regretting her tone when the girl's face fell. "I'm sorry, Jubilee. I'm just... upset."

Jubilee nodded. "I understand. Professor, I'll come back later."

The young woman gave Jean a little smile as she left the office. Professor Xavier didn't look half as ready to take that excuse. "Sit down, Jean," he said, motioning to a chair.

"I'll ruin the upholstery," she replied.

He frowned at her and nodded toward the chair. "Sit. I think that we need to talk."

Jean shrugged and sat in the chair, waiting for the third degree to begin. She was sure that Scott had already talked to the professor, and she wondered just how far against her Charles had turned.

"Jean, I'm not turning against anyone. I'm not taking anyone's side. I just want to know what happened."

Jean immediately clamped her mental shields into place. She really didn't need for the professor to pick up on any of her stray thoughts. "We had a fight," she said vaguely.

Charles frowned at her again. "Jean, I've known you since you were a little girl. You've been here for twenty years. Don't you think that I can read you better than that, even with your shields up?"

Jean felt ashamed. "I'm sorry, Professor. I'm just... I'm terribly confused."

He finally smiled and reached across the desk for her hand. "I know, child. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

As much as she tried to resist, the words began pouring out of her mouth like a waterfall. "I'm in love with Logan, and Scott figured it out before I did. Scott doesn't want me anymore because of it. I think that it's really over, Professor," she paused to gulp in a breath, "He can't marry me because he knows, and I would die of guilt if I married him and was still in love with Logan, and Logan... I just couldn't do that to him. I care about him too much. God, Professor, I don't know what I'm going to do."

She was crying again, and getting angrier with herself by the second. Charles moved out from behind his desk and gently put his arms around her, letting her come to him. "It's all right to cry, Jean. You can cry and still be strong," he told her softly.

Jean took a deep breath and pressed her face into his shoulder, letting the tears fall. The aching in her head blended well with her sobs at first, but it quickly turned into a stabbing pain. She gasped and jerked away, grabbing her temples.

"Jean, what's wrong?" Professor Xavier asked, alarmed at her sudden panic.

"Can't you feel it? It's Scott... something is wrong with Scott... Oh, my god..."

She jumped out of her chair and bolted out of the office. "Jean, stop!" Charles called out, but she didn't acknowledge him.

He quickly scanned the minds of his students and found what had alarmed Jean so greatly. "Scott..." he whispered to himself. "Oh, no..."